A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said: "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah?"

The teacher asked: "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer or that's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it and I would turn red in the face."

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty!"

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE; God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note: "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."